When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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