Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
