Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize