I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize