I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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