Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
