I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
