Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
