hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
