put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
