I think my fart just growled at me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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