We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
