Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
