Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
