WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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