What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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