also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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