Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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