How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
