Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
