I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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