Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
