Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
