I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
