no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
