Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this will be a night to untag.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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