I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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