i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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