Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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