It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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