Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
