her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just want to make out with him forever
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
