Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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