The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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