Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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