You're completely useless in the revolution.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Help. Why am I so naked?
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