just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
