Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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