Already got asked if we're dating
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
