Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
