Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got chris browned last night
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
