That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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