Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
