I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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