I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dick very happy bro
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
