I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
