look no pants
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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