But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize