It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
please come you make the beer taste better
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my poor anus
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
