I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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