I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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