I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
