I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
