You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This is the high leading the old right now
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
