shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
