i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
